Fuck boys and their fucking confusingness

Wow, feel like it's been a really long time since I've posted on here. I'm always on tumblr, because I actually like it more. But if I ever want to post something that nobody I know will ever find out into the internet, I use this. Like now for instance. (and the rant is off! Girly feelings are in the lead, with angst and crying neck and neck for second!)

First off, boys. I hate them, I do. But I also love them. At times I just want to throttle my best friend Ben, and other times he's really amazing. It's usually a mix of the two. And if you've been reading my blog for a while or have read my past posts, you might be wondering "what about Nic?" The thing is, I have really conflicted feelings. I still like Nic, a lot, but I haven't told him anything yet. And then there's Ben, who is probably my closest guy friend, he can be super nice, funny, and protective, and I kinda do like him. But I know that one of my friends like him. I also think that he still likes his ex, Britt, who is in our class. They dated for I don't know how long, in grade 4 or something, I honestly don't remember. I don't remember much of anything. So anyways Brittany is still friends with us, of course, and she's going out with an englishite. (we're all frenchies: people in French immersion. Englishites are kids in English. I came up with the name; if you take the e off the end it's english shit. Tee hee. No offense intended to all the nice English kids) Anyways she's taken and I think Ben still likes her, though I don't know. And then another friend whom was namelessly mentioned earlier likes ben for a fact, and I kinda like him. But I like Nic too. I have no idea who Nic likes, if he does at all. I got off track. Where was I again? Oh yeah! And to top it all off, Ben if moving to fucking toronto for high school. Ben is probably the only person happy with this, but we'll grin and bear it. Fuck, I think I'm going to start crying again. I was crying for absolutely no reason earlier. Well, no, ca c'est une mente; je pleurait a cause de tap tap quatre que je jouait earlier. It juste ne veulent pas cooperate. Oh fuck half of that etait en francais. Shit, I can't seem to stop and I'm too lazy to retype. As a side note: I actually type moat of my posts in one go, without stopping, and it's all just verbal diarehha, or however the fuck you spell it. Anyways... Crap, I forgot again. Oh yeah, I was crying because tap tap was being a bitch. I know that's stupid. I do. But I just need to cry, and that seemed to set me off, so I went with it.
Also, I'd like to mention that Ben is going to be in the festival of the stars for an accompanied solo on the flute! I've been before for singin, and it's quite fun. And yes, while I do kinda like him, he's still my best friend, and I'm probably just going to ignore my little crush and be supportive of him. Of him playing in the festival of the stars, of anybody he likes/dates and mostly of him moving away. And honestly, anybody that I've ever liked, I've never told them. Dropped them hints, maybe, but never told them. I guess I'm just a coward. But in my defense, I only ever seem to like my close friends (males; I don't think I'm gay, but I hope everyone would be fine with it if I was) and I don't want to fuck up my friendships, so yeah. I also don't think anybody could like me at all, ever, like that, let alone the people I like. But, you know, if I know you and you do like me, feel free to tell me! I've been wondering who all my friends like nowadays.... Like Danielle and Alexander s. and Ben and Nic... Danielle uses to like Alexander, but she said she doesn't anymore... I'm such a girl, wondering who people like. Eh, whatever, I know that ben wonders the same things sometimes.

My toes are really cold right now. They've been hanging off the end of my bed for probably the last 40 minutes while I've been typing this post. I've been typing it on my iPod so it take longer than normal. Also, while I'm on the topic of feet, my right foot really hurts. You know, the one I sprained a couple months ago? Yeah, I think it healed wrong or something, because it's still swollen. And it hurts. But I already told you that.

I'm fat. Did you know that? All my friends say that I'm not, but fuck them, I know I am. I fucking disgust myself. I actually tried for the first time to forcibly vomit, but I didn't. I'm probably going to try again after I post this. I know it's an extremely bad habit to get into, but I just can't help it. I relish the hunger pangs I constantly have, as morbid and mentally disturbed as that seems.

I'm going to be going to the the avengers movie when it comes out with rose and probably Danielle, Sarah P. and Britt, too. Rose and I pretty much only want to go for the music. New songs by Rise Against, Shinedown, Evanascence, and most importantly, BLACK VEIL BRIDES!!!!! I'm so fucking excited!! The song they have in the movie is called "Unbroken" and I fucking love it, and I've only heard a one minute teaser of it!!
And speaking of music, guess what I'm doing with rose this summer? Really, you have no clue?
WE'RE GOING TO THE FUCKING VANS WARPED TOUR IN TORONTO, BITCH!!!!!!!!
I'm so fucking excited!!!!! So many fucking amazing bands!!!

Haha, did you know I have violent mood swings, all the time? Because I do.

I need to get off soon... It's 10 o'clock as I type this sentence, and I've been working on this post for almost an hour, I think.


So I'll see all you people later, when I watch you in your sleep.

Every. Single. One of you.

Good luck sleeping now.

Mwahahahahahahaha.... /fade out


Rachel :*

(4+6)/2

If I said I read six books, watched four movies and still slept and ate and all that, would you believe me? Well that's the reasoning behind the equation for the title. Kind of. Close enough. I watched Abduction, Contagion, Super 8, and The Matrix, and read two Traced novels, What Boys Really Want (fiction, guys, don't worry), and a bunch of manga, too. And I watched and episode of GI Joe renegades, but I'd already seen it, so I was a little disappointed. Umm, my cat (the balding one) can't take a hint, so I ended up throwing him off of me throughout most of the matrix. For a reason, too. (I'm not cruel to cats for fun) he kept clawing me. It was an accident, I believe, but it still hurt like fuck. And he would attempt to sit on my face. WHILE I WAS WATCHING A MOVIE. so yeah, I kept throwing him off me. Not like chucking, like removing him and his claws from my leg and tossing him on the ground. Hahahahaha, I'm so funny. What I was talking about just made me think of Threw it on the ground by the Lonely Island. Omd, I'm so lol. (omd, by the way, is like omg, but French. "oh mon dieu" is what it stands for, and oh mon dieu is French for oh my god. Dieu is god. (as in it's a translation. I'm atheist, so I dont give a fuck either way. Actually, I do. Just stfu about religion already. WE. DONT. CARE.) I used to think that mon dieu was one word, like mondieu, as in "oh my world" (monde=world) anyways, I had that specific epiphany a couple weeks ago or so thanks to my friend Ben, who I have posted about before. I'll add links in this post to his blogs. (he has more than one, both personal.) Actually, I think I'll make a little link list in the sidebar to blogs of people I like (not like like, but there will be at least one, I guarantee.) and people I find interesting. Maybe you'll even track my tumblr down from there? (here's a hint: look for my name)
Oh, and follow salocindaplat. He is fucking amazing, and also that at least one person i'd guarantee liking. Like, like liking. Follow him!!:

http://salocindaplat.tumblr.com
http://salocindaplat.tumblr.com
http://salocindaplat.tumblr.com
http://salocindaplat.tumblr.com

(I'll make these into links later...)

Till we meet again, my pretties,
Rachel c:

Hey. Long time....

So it's been a long time since I last posted (I don't know how long) so I'm making another. But this post isn't really for that reason, or even about me, that much. No. Do you remember that guy Nic, who can sometimes be a dick without realising it, but is actually really nice, and just fucking amazing in general? Yeah, him. I like him. I mean, REALLY like him. He's perfect. Well, maybe I'm a little biased, bit still. I really, really, really truly like you, if you manage to find this somehow, Nic. Maybe you have no clue or maybe you gussed it. But I really want you to know now. So, please, don't blow me off or ignore me, because I really like you, and... I really hope you might like me too..?
But recently, you have been blowing me off. I still haven't told you, so I can't say you're being spiteful, but it's heartbreaking. Who DO you like? Is it Chloe VZ? It certainly seems that way... Hate to break it to you, but she's not interested. Or do you just not like anyone and are really not interested in me... Or maybe you're gay? I normally wouldn't have a problem with that, but, again, I really like you and you would be utterly unattainable if you were gay. Anyways, even if I can't have you, I hope you end up happy, but I really want you to be happy with me. Maybe some day I'll have the courage to say it to your face... I like you.

Watch "Lara and Taylor play the Morrowind & Skyrim themes!" on YouTube

I'm going to dance to this at my wedding... <3

Watch "Lara plays Rebecca Black and Nyan Cat AT THE SAME TIME on piano" on YouTube

http://r-r-r-rachel.tumblr.com/post/17137717935

2 days...

Greetings, fair reader.

I'm still pissed at Nic, and I'm trying really hard to ignore him. I don't think I'll be able to for long though. But I'll try.
Tomorrow, if all goes as planned, I will be going over to my friend Chloe's house, just to chill. (I'm gonna promo her, so here's her blog on tumblr, follow her! (Maybe me, too?))

Anyways, I was just on my friend Ben's blog today, and I was looking at this post: Spring in February. And as the title implies, we are currently experiencing spring in february. FEBRUARY! It's just not right where we live! We have not had even the minimum of 30cm! (1 foot for all you imperial-ers) We had a maximum of 15 centimetres, maybe. For 2 days. Then it all melted and rained. It really sucks. Just yesterday it was warm enough to go outside without a coat or boots on, just a sweater (or maybe even without one!) and running shoes. It's insane. Unnatural.

Anyways again, I should probably get going.
Bye for now, Rachel :3