I want to die.

Actually I don't. I just don't want to feel this anymore. This hurt. This searing heartache.

Earlier tonight I asked Nic who he liked. For me, that took a lot of guts. He likes someone else, of course.
Why the fuck would I even think about believing otherwise?! I'm a fucking retard for even hoping! Why the fuck do I even bother? Nobody loves me, not now, not ever. Fact. Do you know what it's like to feel like your heart has just been ripped out and then have to act like you're completely fine? It sucks. It makes you want to just go cry alone in the dark until you pass out, and hope that you never wake up. It does.
And let's just say that this makes for an interesting love quadrilateral... With lots of variables.

I have to go now. I can barely see through my blurring vision.
I never thought that it would hurt so much.
Now I know better.